Primetime Championship Wrestling

Abner Medical Condition?

Posted by Sandy Wong on 18 Jun 2003

Rumor has it that early yesterday afternoon, while on his way to the juicebar, PCW's resident redneck, Abner, collapsed from a rare and disturbing type of liver disorder: H20 Syndrome. Evidently, in the crued but complex system of a redneck, the seemingly tiny biological differences that set them apart from the homo-sapien, can have a tremendous impact on their ability to function. Reliable source, country music legend, Charlie Daniels, was allagedly at the scene of the medical mishap, and sends out his condolences to the redneck's family.

But ship's medical doctor, Romanian-born Ima Dok Tar, reports taht there is "no such dissorder in the medical books" and contined on saying "I think the redneck is just treating this as a big, stupid joke! Well, Mr. Abner, it's not funny! The medical community knows you're a liar, I know you're a liar, and quite frankly, the fans know you're a liar too!"

But still, the redneck, now recovering, sipping cheap whiskey in his bed on the roster's deck, claims that this is a real, and indeed, fatal, disease. "Water...huh? Who eva heard of such a thing anyway!" Insider, Cuzin Ed, also supports this notion that water inhibits the ability of a redneck to function, and demands the immediate repeal of Abner's "two waters a day" medication perscribed by the ship's doctor.

Abner Medical Condition?

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